A Prayer of Humble Trust

A Prayer of Humble Trust

Psalm 131        Lord, I have given up my pride

                           and turned away from my

                                    arrogance.

            I am not concerned with great matters

                 or with subjects too difficult for me.

            Instead, I am content and at peace.

            As a child lies quietly in its mother’s

                        arms,

                 so my heart is quiet within me.

            Israel, trust in the Lord

                now and forever!              Catholic Rainbow Study Bible

Wow! How this Psalm speaks to me! My heart melts when I image myself being always content and at peace. This is what I long for; what I strive for!

How many times have I been worried, stressed, and sad about matters that are out of my control? I have worried about the future, my appearance, even about going on this trip to WYD. For some reason, many steps we have had to take to prepare for this trip have been very hard for me. I believe that the devil is trying to have his way with me. He wants to keep me from growing in my faith and my relationships with other college students who are seeking the Lord.

I have been fighting a battle within myself. It started at the beginning of this year when I began to lose my good health. I had mono but I did not know for a while. I was struggling to pay attention in class. I did not have energy to be social. I was exhausted and the devil saw this as a good time to strike. Thankfully, because of the foundation I had already built to keep me practicing my Catholic faith in college and because of the Catholic friends in my life I pulled through this hard time (I am still going through this battle but I am getting stronger). Looking back and as I still process everything I have been able to pick out good that came from this time. As I was changing parts of my life, the devil began to up his game and tried hard to keep me from changing. However, I was able to recognize his voice in my head. The support of others like my Catholic roommates and other strong Catholic friends, my Catholic boyfriend, and the missionaries at Evangelical Catholic kept me going. I am purposefully pointing out that these people were all Catholic because 1) I love the Catholic faith and 2) having a network of other Catholics in your life who are also striving to live a life that will bring them closer to Christ and the kingdom of God is a beautiful thing! I love you all dearly.

So, going back to this psalm. This psalm was pointed out to me last week at ETC (Evangelical Training Camp). I immediately fell in love with it. I tend to over think everything. I do this sometimes when I am thinking about God. But with this psalm I realize that a sweet humble trust in God will bring me closer to the Lord than any amount of contemplating I do on matters that are too great for me at this time.

How might I obtain a heart that is quiet within me? Through personal, private time with our Lord. Jesus is always there, waiting and longing for us to come to him. He is our best friend and we must foster our relationship with Him by spending time with our Lord every day.

            “For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says The Lord, plans for you welfare, not for woe! Plans to give you a future full of hope. When you call me, when you go to pray to me, I will listen to you. When you look for me, you will find me. Yes, when you seek me with all your heart, you will find me with you, says The Lord, and I will change your lot.”

Divine Personal Protection

Divine Personal Protection

[for long version read bracketed text]

        Later this year I will be turning 23 years old, and I must admit that it seems like I just turned 20. As a not-so-former-teenager I feel that I can still relate closely with those who are still in the most confusing years of their lives. Teenagers. I have a younger sister who is 15 and this next piece of advice is for her and every other young person who suffers from the heart ache so often found in our relationships today.

         I have been blessed through out my life to only ever have suffered minimal heart ache. Here I am with the secret. I have a Personal Guard for my Heart. I have asked Jesus to guard my heart for Him alone countless times. He has never abandoned me and will never leave me wanting. He is a jealous God after all. So if I love Him more than any of His flock I will never have my heart broken.

        [When with our friends and our potential more-than-just-friends we always find a way to share what we look for in a relationship. We usually outline only some of the good characteristics we require, but we find time to list every trait we consider to be “deal-breakers”. As many of us already know, that list can be quite long. So instead of listing them all, I am going to only mention one, Jealousy.

         We long for commitment to another person but then require absolute freedom to do as we please as soon as we enter that commitment. We don’t want to change any of our habits for that person in order to compromise with what they might want. And just as soon as they question something we have done we assume the worst and lash out at them. It’s not like they are some stranger calling us out for something we may have done wrong. This is someone who is supposed to care for us and us for them.

          Let’s give this a little perspective. We reject the accountability for our actions due to the conviction we often feel because of that same accountability. Perhaps that person only wants the best for us. They do care about us after all. So this jealousy trait we have come to give a universally bad connotation could have a loving nature behind it? Have we not been told that we serve a jealous God? But what does that mean? Is God going to come read all my text messages and quiz me about who I was hanging out with all day? No, our God is a very different kind of jealous and is jealous for a very different reason than we are.

           We are jealous for ourselves. We want more of someone’s time, more of everyone’s stuff, and more of the world’s power. However, The Almighty is not jealous for Himself, He is jealous for us! He wants us to be satisfied, but not just for the next few days or minutes. He longs for our eternal satisfaction on His streets of gold! He isn't the jealousy that gets upset when we go out with our friends and forget to call and talk to Him. He is the jealousy that is sad we didn't tell Him goodnight, but then forgets all about it and leaps for joy when we tell Him good morning. (We will discuss prank calls in our next lesson)  For it is through our relationship with him we are eternally satisfied; and our Lord wants what is best for us.]

            I encourage you to read John 17. Listen to the possessiveness Jesus places on His Disciples! They belonged to Him! They were not and we are not of this world because they gave themselves to Him in the same way we are called to give ourselves to Jesus!  So yes jealousy as we know it is ugly. But my God is jealous for me because He knows it is up to me to climb the staircase and I can only do so though my time spent with Him. He placed that first commandment there for each of us. For He is Jealous for me, and by my obedience to Him, He has granted my redemption.

Brazil 101

  Brazil is a very large and diverse country so it is difficult to characterize, but here are some fast facts about the country hosting WYD!

• Official name: Republica Federative do Brasil; the name Brazil is thought to come from the
  brazilwood, a tree that once grew along the coast
• World's 5th largest country by area and population
• Population: 193 million people
• Official language: Portuguese
• Was a colony of Portugal until 1822
• Motto: Order and Progress
• Capital: Brasilia
• Largest city: Sao Paulo
• Currency: the Real (R$)
• Current President: Dilma Rousseff
• National dish: feijoada- a stew of pork and black beans with white rice, collard greens, and oranges
• Religion: approximately 75% Roman Catholic

The Only Cure for the Ache in our Hearts

            As I look ahead to World Youth Day, God's calling me to look back to where I have been with Him. He doesn't want me to forget the many blessings and graces that He's given me. My freshman year of college was a time of such crazy spiritual growth. I was in a small group Bible  study, going to daily Mass often, and was going to Charismatic at St. Joseph. It was during this time that I finally learned how to listen to God. For me, He likes to speak through images. If it weren't for all of the wonderful people around me helping me to develop my faith, I would still probably not know how to hear Him. Now that I could hear Him, He was so distracting! (in a good way, of course) At a time when I was supposed to be so driven about school, all I wanted to do was grow closer to God and do as much as I could in my campus ministry. I was so hungry for Him and could feel His love so strongly. I was experiencing God like I never had before and falling more in love with the Catholic Church. He was revealing so much beauty to me through His presence in the Eucharist, through His saints, and through my friends who were growing in faith with me. He was filling me up so much and I just wanted to serve Him. I didn't have the strongest trust in where He would take me, but when I was trusting, He never let me down. It was beautiful how He was teaching me to trust Him and helping me to believe that His will is what will make me the happiest. Through the graces He gave me in the sacraments, I developed a stronger prayer life than I'd ever had. I truly appreciated and enjoyed reading scripture because I knew He was speaking to me through it. Having a strong prayer life was not something I had before I came to college, and after everything I experienced in just one semester, I couldn't imagine ever letting myself become spiritually lazy again.

           

            Fast forward to right now, the summer before my junior year of college. Where do you think I am now? If you guessed that I have become a lazy bum in my prayer life, then you get a golden star for being correct. As you can imagine, school got a lot more difficult when I moved out of the gen ed classes that I now miss. I had plenty of unwanted stress and distractions that I let get in the way of my relationship with God. I stopped making time for God and my prayer life got pretty inconsistent along the way. I felt like I was letting Him down after all He's done for me which made me not want to pray even more. Thankfully, through this spiritual low time for me, God has continued to tug at my heart. I know that He changed my heart in the time that I grew so close to Him because otherwise I wouldn't be writing this. Because of what He's done for me, I know what I'm missing out on when I don't take the opportunities I have to pray and serve. I'm coming to realize that even though this time has felt dark and lonely, He's using it to help me grow. Lately, I've been asking God to help me to desire Him again. And as He always does, He has answered my prayer. I don't really know how to describe it, but I know He's putting that desire back into my heart. If you're in a spiritual slump like I've been, try to find the beauty in what He's doing with your heart. In times of desolation it is easy to feel discouraged, but eventually we remember that He is the only cure for the ache in our hearts. Desolation is not fun, but it has allowed me to see how much God has blessed me, and it has reminded me of who I want to be.

"Listen, it has been difficult for me. It has not been easy. But there are also beautiful times. Jesus helps you and gives you joy. But there are also those dark inner moments, there are difficulties, but it's beautiful to follow Jesus and His path. It's a balance that allows you to go forward and that's when the beautiful moments come."

--Pope Francis

  

El Padre que Toca la Puerta

Eso es un poema de Hermana Margaret Halaska, traducido por mi, llamado "The God who Knocks". Lo usé por mi homelía ayer. Abrir sus vidas a El que quiere entregarte todo.

El Padre tocó la puerta mia, buscando hogar por su hijo:
Rentar es barrato, le digo
No quiero rentar. Quiero comprar, me dice Dios
No estoy seguro que quiero vender,
Pero pases y veas la casa.
Okay, me dice Dios.
Quizás te dé un cuarto o dos.
Me gustan, me dice Dios. Quiero ambos,
Tal vez un día me entreges otro,
Puedo esperar, me dice Dios.
Me gustaría darte mas,
Pero es difícil. Se ocupa espacio por mi mismo.
Yo sé, me dice Dios, pero te esperaré. Me gusta lo que veo.
Me encantaría regalarte la casa entera,
Pero tengo dudas-
Piénsalo, me dice Dios. No voy a echarte a fuera.
Tu casa sería la mia, y mi hijo viviría allí.
Tendría más espacio que nunca.
No entiendo para nada.
Yo sé, me dice Dios, pero no te puedo explicar eso.
Tienes que descubrirlo tú.
Este sucede solo cuando le entreges toda la casa a El.
¡Que riesgo¡ le digo.
Si, me dice Dios, pero inténtalo.

No estoy seguro. Te lo dejo saber.

Yo puedo esperar. Me gusta lo que veo...

¡Pon tu confianza en Dios y te sorprenderá!

Una de las pasiones que está en mi lista de acontecimientos personales a futuro es viajar.  El simple hecho de pensar en conocer culturas diferentes, conocer gente, tradiciones, lugares, bueno la lista puede ser interminable,  hasta con la idea de sentirme la “rara”, en cualquier lugar remoto, me emociona.  Pero, a veces la “cruel realidad”, lo hace difícil o casi imposible.   La falta de dinero, el trabajo, no tener tiempo disponible, los pagos al fin de mes, hacen que ese deseo lo pongamos al final de nuestra lista de prioridades aunque sea algo que deseamos con toda nuestras fuerzas. 

Dios es grande e infinitamente misericordioso, y él lo único que quiere es que nosotros seamos felices.  A veces, nos sumergimos tanto en nuestras preocupaciones, las cosas que ocurren en nuestro alrededor que acabamos gritando ¡cuando no es una cosa, es otra! 

A lo que voy es a lo siguiente…  Si han seguido este blog, se habrán dado cuenta que mi sacerdote,  mis compañeros y yo tendremos la oportunidad de viajar a Rio de Janeiro, Brasil.  Vamos a vivir una experiencia única  de esas que marca la vida por siempre, asistiremos a la Jornada Mundial de la Juventud. En esta ocasión, hablare de mi lado personal, yo sinceramente  me siento tan afortunada de poder vivir esta experiencia que aun estoy en shock, ¡No lo puedo creer!  Voy a poder cumplir uno de mis sueños (viajar) y todo porque tome la decisión de confiar en ÉL.  Si, en mi caso así fue.  Dios siempre nos demuestra con detalles cuanto nos ama, pero a veces nos segamos a ver las cosas hermosas que están en nuestro alrededor.  Hay una cita hermosa que me encanta de Albert Einstein que dice lo siguiente, “Hay dos maneras de vivir una vida: La primera es pensar que nada es un milagro. La segunda es pensar que todo es un milagro. De lo que estoy seguro  es que Dios existe.” Esta cita explica exactamente lo anterior.  Dios me mostro con este gesto cuanto me quiere y que ¡soy su consentida!

Es difícil la edad de la juventud, especialmente cuando llegas a un punto en tu vida en el que se te acabaron las opciones en la vida y te preguntas, ¿Y ahora a donde le doy?   Allí es donde Dios nos está hablando, donde nos invita a tener fe de lo que te tiene preparado para ti.  Seguir el camino aunque se vea incierto y aunque parezca que vamos con los ojos cerrados, porque sinceramente, quien mejor que Él para confiarle nuestra vida.  Eso me demostró con este viaje.  Si, el sabia de mis gustos y pasiones, y miren me puse en sus manos y que tan grande oportunidad me puso en mi camino, asistir a JMJ.   Voy a ser honesta, al principio fui muy pesimista cuando recibí la invitación para asistir a JMJ.  Lo veía tan lejano, fuera de mis posibilidades, pero Dios ya tenía ese “regalazo“ planeado para mí.  Aun viendo las dificultades que se me presentaban tome la decisión de aceptar la invitación y dije, “¡Que Dios me agarre confesada!”  No quiero mentirles, el proceso fue difícil, incierto, y en ocasiones tuve miedo.   Pero no permití que esos pensamientos invadieran mi confianza, aunque fue difícil continúe.    Hoy en día puedo gritar, ¡Voy a estar en JMJ en BRASIL y tengo la certeza que en este viaje fui guiada por ÉL!

Si nos ponemos a pensar, nos damos cuenta de que Dios y todo en su entorno es bello.  Qué gran dicha  de cumplir mi gran anhelo (viajar) y a su misma vez asistir a la congregación católica más grande de jóvenes como es JMJ. Dios mediante conoceré al Papa Francisco y podre decir que yo estuve allí.  En si la moraleja de mi historia es que Dios te quiere dar todo lo que tú anhelas, solo tienes que confiar en Él con tus sueños y deseos.  Deja de preocuparte y ponlo todo en sus manos,  el te guiara a donde debes estar.  Dile todo lo que quieres, pero recuerda: Él te dará lo que es para ti y lo que necesitas, no lo que tú crees que sea necesario para ti.  ¡Confía en el! Mira mi experiencia, Yo viajare a un lugar de ensueño y a su misma vez estaré allí por Él. 

Take a Vacation with God

Make some time to relax in God's presence this Summer!