Wholly Love

I struggle to love God as much as I should. Even at points of my life when my prayer life is thriving, I’m going to mass, and I’m loving others, I still sense there is something more. I still lack loving Him completely, with my whole self. There are days that all those actions I just mentioned are extremely easy to do, and there are days when I fail to do any of them because it simply seems more difficult. But then there are days when it seems difficult and I still do one or two of those things, and those are the days in which I love the most. Those are the days that I’m reminded of what loving God truly means.

The Bible tells us the greatest way in which we can show love, “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” –John 15:13. Before, I read this passage and I understood that Jesus’s love for us is the greatest because He laid down His life for us; which is completely true. Jesus did show the greatest love for us by dying on the cross. But today, I read this passage and God spoke to my heart by putting my name in place of where I typically place Jesus’. The greatest love I can show God is by laying down MY life for him. That’s big.

What does that mean to lay down my life for Jesus? It means total self-sacrifice and surrender. It means letting go of my plans, my comforts, and my selfishness. It means totally emptying myself. Which sounds pretty painful and difficult, right? I think so. But that’s what makes the process so beautiful. In our efforts to totally empty ourselves, God watches lovingly while we show Him how much we truly do love Him by doing things that are not easy for us to do. And then even more beautiful, is what happens as a result of our self-emptying, we become filled with Him. In emptying ourselves of the things that fill us up and chain us down, we become free to love God and others with our whole heart. At this point “it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me” –Galatians 2:20. Which is amazing! This is our goal of discipleship! To do what Christ does and become more and more like Him. This is where discipleship begins; we must first lay down our lives to follow and love Him.

In Mass, about a week ago we read in the Gospel about the “would-be followers of Jesus.” These men could not follow Jesus or love him fully. Why? They could not lay down their lives and give everything away. One of the men had an obligation to burry his dead father. Burial was a sacred duty in ancient Judaism, and is still today, very important! But Jesus uses this importance of burial to display an even greater importance on following Him. He tells the man, “Follow me, and leave the dead to bury their own dead.” –Matthew 8:22.

Following Jesus is the most important thing. Even more important than our family and friends! The “would-be follower” couldn’t do it, but Jesus’s apostles could. Were these men any greater than the would be follower? It’s doubtful. The apostles were typical fisherman, nothing special or holy about them. But because of their immediate “yes’” to Jesus and emptying of themselves, they became filled with Him, special and holy. These are the men that gave everything to Jesus, their families, plans, and jobs. And because of this gift of self, they were able to love Jesus completely with their whole selves. These are the people who I look up to and strive to be like. I can’t wholly love God until I fully give Him my whole self. Will it be hard? Extremely. But that’s why it’s so beautiful. Will it be worth it? Absolutely.

“Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and all my will—all that I have and possess. You, Lord, have given that all to me. I now give it back to you, O Lord. All of it is yours. Dispose of it according to your will. Give me love of yourself along with your grace, for that is enough for me. “

–St. Ignatius of Loyola